SPRAWLED on the floor after my husband had viciously shoved me to the ground, I knew I needed to escape.
Tonight, it had simply been because I hadn’t cooked roast potatoes to his liking, and it was the latest in a terrifying line of incidents that had left me emotionally shattered.
I first met Chris Featherstone, then 42, in May 2012, on a dating site.
After a whirlwind four months, I discovered I was pregnant.
At 34, I was keen to settle down and have a family, and Chris said he felt the same.
He was kind, with a solid job as a police officer and a nice house, and I believed I’d found a good man.
He proposed on the London Eye in February 2013, when I was six months pregnant, and I said yes without hesitation.
A few weeks before I gave birth, however, he revealed his true nature for the first time.
He got drunk at a barbecue and on the drive back began shouting that we shouldn’t be together and he should have slept with a prostitute
He got drunk at a barbecue and on the drive back began shouting that we shouldn’t be together and he should have slept with a prostitute.
When we got home, he pinned me against a wall, yelling in my face.
Terrified, I got in the car and slept in a layby, too afraid to go home and too ashamed to go to my parents’.
When I returned home the next morning, he said he was sorry and it would never happen again.
Shaken, I told myself that the alcohol was to blame and it was just a one-off.
A few weeks later, I had an emergency C-section and had to spend five days in hospital with our newborn son Oliver.*
We didn’t even make it back to the house before the verbal abuse began, Chris angrily chastising me because I didn’t know how to fit the baby seat into the car, when he didn’t either.
Then, at home, he started telling me I was fat and refused to help feed or change our son.
In front of visitors, however, he was the perfect dad – hands-on and enthusiastic – before reverting to being sullen and unkind almost as soon as they’d left.
I began to realise that I’d rushed into having a family with a man I didn’t really know, but as we had a baby to care for, I told myself I had to just make it work.
Terrified, I got in the car and slept in a layby, too afraid to go home and too ashamed to go to my parents’
Soon, my life became an endless cycle of walking on eggshells, cleaning the house so it was spotless, and planning and organising everything so he didn’t have to.
If something wasn’t to his liking, he’d tell me I was useless and lazy.
His moods were so erratic, my only goal each day was to keep him happy and calm while looking after Oliver. I felt constantly anxious and on edge.
‘I couldn’t bear the thought of my son growing up in a toxic environment’
Despite all this, in May 2014, I married Chris in front of 100 guests. I convinced myself marriage could be a fresh start and we could become the happy family I’d dreamed of.
However, even our honeymoon was overshadowed when he got drunk and called me terrible names.
The next day he acted as if nothing had happened, and it was never spoken of again. I knew by then that there was no point trying to reason with him.
When I returned home the next morning, he said he was sorry and it would never happen again. Shaken, I told myself that the alcohol was to blame and it was just a one-off
Not long after Oliver’s first birthday, I confessed to my mum what was going on.
Horrified, she begged me to leave, but I couldn’t – when I’d threatened to previously, Chris had told me he’d kill himself if I followed through with it.
His abuse wasn’t just emotional – it seeped into our finances, too.
I was working as a sales rep and also had income from a property I rented out.
Chris began to insist on looking at my bank statements and dictated how much ”we” should be spending.
Over time, I became increasingly isolated.
Chris was critical of everyone in my life, making unpleasant comments about them and telling me I should focus on him and Oliver.
When I’d arrange to meet friends, he’d guilt-trip me, saying we didn’t have the money and should be spending time together instead.
So worn down, I’d agree and cancel.
If I did leave the house, he’d want to know where I was going and who with, and I always had to be home by a certain time.
Chris also blew hot and cold with Oliver.
One minute, he’d be all over him, taking our little boy to judo lessons or wrestling with him, and the next, he’d shout at him for no reason.
Even our honeymoon was overshadowed when he got drunk and called me terrible names
I could see Oliver was wary of him and tried to please him, which broke my heart.
It was in April 2021, when Chris pushed me to the ground in front of our son, that I knew I couldn’t go on.
I was afraid the violence would escalate and I couldn’t bear the thought of Oliver growing up in this toxic environment.
I knew there was no point trying to discuss a separation calmly, as Chris would never agree and I was too scared of his reaction. I had to flee.
Later that month, my parents came over when Chris was at work, helped me pack and drove me and Oliver to a friend’s house.
There, I phoned the police and two officers came out to take a statement.
His abuse wasn’t just emotional – it seeped into our finances, too
It felt surreal recounting what I’d been enduring after hiding it so long.
I was worried the police might take Chris’ side as he was a fellow officer, or not take me seriously – but the next day, he was arrested, then charged with coercive controlling behaviour.
When I found out, I collapsed in tears. But the nightmare wasn’t over yet.
Domestic abuse – how to get help
DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone – including men – and does not always involve physical violence.
Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship:
- Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to
- Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you
- Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten.
- Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent.
If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers:
Remember, you are not alone.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime.
Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse.
While we waited for the trial, Chris sent me thousands of emails, love-bombing, threatening, accusing and disparaging me.
I had to get my solicitor to send him a cease and desist letter, ordering him not to contact me.
I lived in constant terror of him turning up on my doorstep, even though the police reassured me there was a flag on my phone number and my address, prioritising any calls from me.
One minute, he’d be all over him, taking our little boy to judo lessons or wrestling with him, and the next, he’d shout at him for no reason
My nerves shattered, I had to take time off from work – as well as having medication and therapy – because of all the stress and anxiety.
In September 2025, Chris’ trial began at Huntingdon Crown Court, after being delayed several times.
It was awful seeing him – at one point, he turned to me and started to apologise, but I felt nothing but disgust.
When I heard the word “guilty”, I felt relieved and vindicated.
Chris was found guilty of engaging in controlling/coercive behaviour and was sentenced to nine months in prison, suspended for 18 months, plus given a five-year restraining order.
I still suffer from anxiety and stress, as well as insomnia and nightmares, but slowly Oliver and I are rebuilding our lives.
He’s no longer a police officer, either – an internal investigation into gross misconduct is still ongoing, and he’s retired in the meantime
I’m back at work and Chris is no longer in our lives, with no access to our son.
He’s no longer a police officer, either – an internal investigation into gross misconduct is still ongoing, and he’s retired in the meantime.
Looking back, I think Chris was attracted to the job because of the power and control it gave him, and how it helped him portray himself as a pillar of the community.
It’s so important the police get vetting right, to stop people like that from becoming officers.
My marriage to Chris changed me forever and although I can’t turn back the clock – and wouldn’t want to because then I wouldn’t have my son – my advice to other women is to trust their instincts and pay heed to early warning signs.
If it doesn’t feel right, walk away before it’s too late.