The actress opened up on Call Her Daddy about starting couples counseling early and why it became the highlight of her week
Kerry Washington has been married to Nnamdi Asomugha for nearly 13 years, and she wants people to know that longevity did not happen by accident. The actress, 49, revealed this week that the two began couples therapy early in their relationship, well before any tension gave them a reason to.
Washington shared the details during a recent appearance on Call Her Daddy, the podcast hosted by Alex Cooper, 31. The conversation turned to what her partnership with Asomugha, 44, had taught her over the years, and Washington did not hold back.
The decision to start therapy preemptively, she explained, came from a shared desire to build communication skills before they were needed in a crisis. Rather than waiting for something to go wrong, the two wanted to establish the kind of fluency in honest conversation that holds up when things get difficult. Washington described the approach as something close to preventative care for the relationship.
Why Washington calls it the best part of her week
What Washington described is not the version of couples therapy that most people picture. There are no emergency sessions or tearful confrontations. Instead, she and Asomugha begin each appointment the same way, with each person sharing something they appreciated about the other since the last session.
The ritual, as Washington described it, keeps producing surprises. The things Asomugha mentions noticing or valuing are rarely what she would have predicted, and the same goes in reverse. Small gestures that felt unremarkable to the person doing them turn out to carry real weight for the other. That kind of discovery, Washington said, changes how you choose to show up. When you learn that a specific thing you did meant something to your partner, you do it more.
She said she looks forward to those sessions the way people look forward to something they genuinely enjoy, not something they feel obligated to attend. The word she used to describe her relationship with the practice was obsessed.
The foundation beneath a long marriage
Washington and Asomugha married in a private outdoor ceremony in Idaho in June 2013. He was still an NFL cornerback at the time, though he has since transitioned into an acting career of his own. The two have built a family together that includes three children, Isabelle, 11, and Caleb, 9, along with a daughter Asomugha has from a previous relationship.
Washington, who is known for her role in Scandal and her recent appearance in Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man, credited Asomugha with more than just being a steady partner. She said he has pushed her to be a better person in ways that go beyond the relationship itself, and that his partnership and their family together represent the most significant gifts in her life.
What the approach says about how they see marriage
The framing Washington used throughout the conversation treated therapy not as a rescue tool but as a maintenance habit, something closer to how serious athletes approach conditioning. You build the capacity before you need it under pressure. You create the culture of communication first so that when something hard arrives, the instinct to talk through it is already there.
For a couple that has maintained a notably private relationship despite Washington’s public profile, this kind of candid window into the mechanics of their marriage is rare. What came through was not a performance of marital happiness but a genuine description of a deliberate practice they built together and have kept going.
The message underneath all of it is fairly direct. Washington and Asomugha are not still married because nothing difficult has ever happened. They are still married because they decided early on to learn how to talk to each other before it became hard to.
Story credit: People