AS CHILDREN around the world hang their stockings and make last-minute wishes on Christmas Eve, one brave young boy will be saying a final goodbye to his mother.
Charlie Ainsworth, 38, had battled ill-health most of her life and tragically lost her fight for life days before Christmas, leaving her son, Elijah, behind. Heartbreakingly, she will be laid to rest on Christmas Eve.
The family had discussed celebrating an early Christmas to include Charlie, but she was determined to try to hang on for the big day with Elijah.
Now Charlie’s mum, Belinda, who cared for her throughout her illness, will celebrate with him in her place.
Belinda, 60, says: “My heart is breaking but it is also bursting with pride.
“Charlie suffered so much but she was a true inspiration, and she was devoted to her son. She had even started Christmas shopping for him, from her bed.
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“We had talked about celebrating Christmas early, but Charlie wouldn’t hear of it because she was convinced she would be here for him. Now, we must celebrate in her memory and make her proud.
“Even as a child, Charlie never let her health issues define her. She was always so positive, she was a fighter.”
Despite her long battle with illness, Charlie was determined to become a mother.
“The doctors warned it was dangerous,” Belinda says.
“She and Elijah shared an amazing bond, and it feels very cruel that I will now raise him instead of her.
“After Charlie died, I told Elijah his Mummy had gone to be an angel, and she would be the brightest star in the sky.
“He looked at me and said: ‘Grandma, you look like you need a cuddle.’ He is very strong, always thinking of other people before himself, and he reminds me so much of his mummy.”
Charlie was healthy as a young child but aged 8 was diagnosed with an under-active thyroid. The following year, tests showed she was diabetic.
Belinda says: “Charlie never let it upset her. She learned to inject herself and followed all the rules. She never went on binges or went out drinking. She was a model patient.
“Charlie had always wanted to be a mum, but her doctors warned it could kill her. She got a poodle named Waldo instead, but still, she longed for a baby.”
In 2016, Charlie had a mole removed from her thigh and was later diagnosed with melanoma. Doctors believed they had removed the cancer, and she had the all-clear.
The following year, to her surprise, she fell pregnant.
Belinda says: “Charlie was over the moon; it was what she’d always wanted. But her specialist advised her to have a termination and warned her life was at risk.
“I begged her to think of herself; I knew she wanted a baby, but she was my baby. It was an impossible choice.”
Charlie continued with the pregnancy, but Elijah was delivered at 28 weeks after she swelled up with fluid. Though Elijah was healthy, Charlie’s kidneys were failing.
Belinda says: “Despite her health problems, Charlie was a wonderful mum. She was hooked up to dialysis each night at home and she had Elijah in her bed so she could reach him.
“He got so used to cuddling up in bed with his mum that he refused to sleep in his own bed afterwards. They were inseparable.
“As Elijah grew up, she made sure he didn’t miss out. She always did the school run, she took him to football, swimming and MMA. We had days out at Crazy golf and Blackpool, and we went on holiday to Turkey.”
In April 2021 Charlie underwent a double kidney and pancreas transplant. Though at first it was successful, her pancreas later failed.
Two years later, the cancer returned in her hip and lungs. Last year, doctors found four malignant tumours in her brain. As the cancer continued to spread, Charlie’s condition deteriorated.
Belinda says: “With each bombshell, she’d say: ‘Oh it’s just a blip, I can beat this.’ She still continued taking Elijah to football and swimming. He took it all his stride too; her strength rubbed off on him.”
But in April this year, Charlie lost all feeling in her left side and doctors stopped her treatment. The family was warned that time was running out – but instead Charlie fought bravely for another seven months.
Last Monday, she became confused due to her brain tumours and doctors warned she had just days to live.
Belinda says: “Charlie wanted to die at home, and I promised her she could. We refused support from the hospice because I wanted to do this final act of love for her. I stayed up every night, so she wasn’t alone, and she had a cuddle with Elijah each day too.
Where to get support for bereavement
There is lots of help and available if you are experiencing grief after the death of a loved one.
NHS therapy and counselling services – NHS talking therapies services are for people in England aged 18 or over. You can speak to your GP about talking therapies or get in touch with the talking therapies service directly without going to your GP.
At a loss – Find bereavement services and counselling across the UK
Child Bereavement UK – Offers support if you are bereaved after losing a child. Or if you’re a child or young person who is grieving after losing someone.
The Good Grief Trust – a charity run by bereaved people, helping all those experiencing grief in the UK.
Samaritans – if you’re struggling you can call Samaritans any time on 116 123 to talk about anything.
“She slept most of the week but on Thursday she opened her eyes and I told her I loved her and she said it back. They were the final words she ever spoke.
“She died in my arms on Friday evening, and I sang her the same lullaby I sang when she was tiny, and I sing it to Elijah too. She died very peacefully, surrounded by love.
“Afterwards, I told Elijah that his Mummy had gone to be an angel, but I don’t think he’s taken it in yet. He seemed more concerned about me than him and he wanted to cuddle me.
“So far, he’s still going to school, he’s swimming and playing football. We’re keeping his routine the same.
After Charlie is laid to rest on Christmas Eve, we will make sure Elijah has the best Christmas we can give him
Belinda Ainsworth
“But it’s very hard when children all around are preparing for Christmas, and he is preparing to say goodbye to his mummy.
“After Charlie is laid to rest on Christmas Eve, we will make sure Elijah has the best Christmas we can give him.
“I will raise Elijah in her memory, and I am so thankful I have him here with me.
“Charlie lives on through him and that is a very precious gift.”
Elijah will be raised by Belinda with help from his father, Matt.
Belinda is raising money in Charlie’s memory – to donate please visit GoFundMe