Istasia Henderson has worn short sleeves in public. That might sound like a small thing, but for a burn survivor who spent years covering the scars on her arms, it was everything. That same slow, deliberate walk toward healing is the foundation of the work she now does through The Beaute for Ashes Foundation, a nonprofit she created for people who are not ready yet, and for those who are.
What inspired you to create The Beaute for Ashes Foundation?
I am a burn survivor. Over 20 years ago I was in an accident where I walked past a barbecue grill and it exploded on me. Going through that was not easy. I dealt with a lot of mental battles, not wanting to live after my accident. Beauty is a big thing in the society we live in today. Accepting my scars, not feeling beautiful anymore, not knowing how I was going to cope and move forward with scars I did not have before.
Fast forward, I am healed. Healing is a continuous process, we never stop healing. Trauma comes in all forms. Some people have trauma from childhood, some from things they went through in their lives. How do you cope through that? I wanted to give people a safe space, because I have been through it.
Even though my trauma was burn scars, I also had to reflect on what I went through as a young adult prior to my scars. So not only was I dealing with scars on the outside, I was dealing with scars on the inside as well. I embrace my scars now, I love my scars. I truly believe that God took the ashes that I had and made them beautiful.
How does the foundation support people who have experienced trauma?
God has given me the gift to do hair and do makeup. One of the things through my healing process was that it helped me cope. You know the saying, when you look good, you feel good. I started being intentional. I am going to do my hair just to feel good today. I am going to put some makeup on just to feel good about myself. That was one of the coping mechanisms I used, amongst counseling as well.
The very thing I did not want to embrace was beauty. And God blessed me with the gift to do hair and makeup. I always tell people, you are beautiful the way you are, but when you do your hair and your makeup, it advances the beauty you already have, because beauty starts within.
After my accident, I stayed in the hospital for a while. I was in a coma for about two and a half months, and it left me with PTSD. I had a fear of going back to the hospital. I could not see myself walking into the hospital for survivor meetings. That was a trauma I could not do. So what The Beaute for Ashes does, I am creating a safe place where you can come in and we support each other, where you do not have to necessarily walk into a hospital, because some people have not gotten over that fear of going back to a place where they had to recover.
What kind of programs does the foundation offer?
We have mentorship and prayer meetings. We also have resources where, if you need extensive counseling, those resources are provided. We have workshops where I bring in other beauticians and makeup artists, hands-on workshops showing you how to do hair, showing you how to do makeup.
You wrote a book called I’m Not My Scars. Can you tell us about it?
While I was writing this book, I was receiving my healing, because I had to put myself back in a place that I had left. Each chapter had different emotions. Some chapters, while writing, I was in tears. Some chapters I was laughing and could not stop laughing. I understood that those same emotions while writing the book would be the same emotions the audience would experience reading it. It taps into how I grew up, how my household was, my accident, the healing process. I tap into all of those areas.
How do you reach someone who does not want to accept that they have trauma or scars?
I would not say some people do not accept it. They are just not ready and that is okay. Some people are not ready to accept that this is a trauma and this is what I am going through. I would literally take my time with that person and not rush the process. Healing is a process. You meet the person where they are at. Everybody’s situation is different, so you are dealing with individuals at different states. You just have to know where to meet that person in the state that they are in.
I was not comfortable with the scars on my arms. Those were the most badly burned areas, my arms and my neck. I could not face wearing short sleeves. You would not catch me at the house in short sleeves. Gradually, my counselor would give me little nuggets. She said, “start with something that is mid-sleeve. Don’t go all the way sleeveless. Work your way around it and see how you feel.” Just taking those little baby steps helped me.
What advice would you give to someone who has experienced trauma?
The beginning is just the beginning. It gets better. Your life is not over just because you experienced a trauma. It gets worse before it gets better, but it gets better. Keep pushing, and don’t give up. That is what I would tell myself.
In the beginning stages of coming out of the coma, not recognizing myself, not wanting to accept my scars, dealing with suicidal thoughts, it gets better. You just need the right support. This does not stop your future, there is still purpose. You survived things that others would not necessarily survive. You are still here for a reason.
How can people find and support the foundation?
You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @thebeauteforashes_. You can also go online to www.thebeauteforashes.com. We have a whole website where you can get in contact and give back if you want. My book I’m Not My Scars is on Amazon, by Istasia Henderson.