How Pauline Collins gave up a child for adoption in heartbreaking decision that was ‘the most awful thing I’ll ever do’

THE late Pauline Collins had to give up her first born daughter for adoption while she was still a struggling actress in Ireland.

In a very personal act of bravery she published a book which revealed that as a 22-year-old actress working in Ireland she became pregnant.

Collins had to make the difficult decision to gave up her daughter, Louise, for adoption – a secret she kept from her family and friends for years.

She would later brand the decision as “the most awful thing” she would ever do.

Her autobiography, A Letter to Louise, revealed the saga to the world in a poignant story of Collins’s time as a young actress.

Collins previously said: “I had her adopted when she was six weeks old. It was the most awful thing ever to do.

“It’s extraordinary how you make these decisions in life. I thought my reasons for doing so were good.

“They were partly familial because my parents were teachers at Catholic schools and partly because I had not a penny in the word and nothing to offer this child.

“It is extraordinary thinking about it now because it means so little now. 

“I remember thinking one time if she was a boy it wasn’t so bad to be an illegitimate boy it was somehow more romantic.

“But it was tougher being an illegitimate girl because there would always people saying she will go the same way as her mother. For that reason I decided on adoption.

“It was awful, it broke my heart. It was like having a piece of your heart ripped out. I think it floors you for the rest of your life.”

Collins would rise to fame in the Seventies with her role as maid Sarah in British drama Upstairs, Downstairs launching her into stardom.

Her biggest success came years later when she played Shirley Valentine on stage and on screen.

She was nominated for dozens of awards throughout her career – several for her role in the renowned Shirley Valentine film adaptation.

Later in her life, of the blue, her now 21-year-old daughter tracked her down and they were reunited.

Collins said: “I knew we would be reunited one day. I didn’t know when and I knew it would have to be at her instigation.

“I felt absolutely delighted when I opened her letter. I wasn’t surprised as three days before I had this extraordinary  dream about her in which she was speaking to me so I knew it was coming. My three children were delighted.

“My daughter Kate once said she wished she had a sister and two weeks later she had one.”

Her tell-all autobiography revealed what had once been a secret to her fans and the world at large, telling the story of how her and Louise had been separated and reunited.

Collins married actor John Alderton in 1969 and lived out her life in Hampstead, London with her husband.

She is survived by the pair’s three children Nicholas, Kate, and Richard.

Her emotional biography detailing her relationship with Louise was published in 1992.